The Badger

Sense and sensibility: Paul Jewell's transfer logic is the antidote to the Keane years

Josh Warwick — Wed, 27 Jul 2011 10:03:00 GMT

IT would appear that common sense has returned to the transfer policy at Portman Road.

Paul Jewell made his intentions clear at the start of the close season when he identified the need for a number of additions to his squad - and he has been true to his word.

The capture of Michael Chopra was a great bit of business, while Nathan Ellington's arrival is almost risk free given the fact that no fee was required to bring him to Suffolk.

The magnificently named Jay Emmanuel-Thomas (I can't wait to hear which the chant the North Stand comes up with in his honour) appears to have genuine potential - certainly if he can replicate the footage of his scoring antics on YouTube.

It all feels a little different to the laboured transfer pursuits of the former regime.

Roy Keane's wheeling and dealing was often baffling - much like his tactical decision making and team selection.

It seemed the majority of supporters could see where Ipswich's weaknesses lay but the manager couldn't.

Jewell, though, has set about rebuilding the squad with real purpose.

His signings have been sensible, straightforward, logical.

He quickly recognised that a shortage of goals had been Town's Achilles heel.

The supply to the strikers was woefully inadequate last season too and steps have been taken to combat the problem.

There is still one piece of the jigsaw missing - the creative force in the centre of midfield which has been missing for so long.

Jimmy Bullard aside, I don't think Town have boasted a real playmaker since Jim Magilton was in his pomp.

Let's hope Jewell can identify the man to fill the void. Keane's squad was one of the weakest in years.

The rebuilding process, as a result, will continue for some time.

But, after three seasons of regression, the club appears to be moving in the right direction again.

Ronaldo, Razor Ruddock, Diego Maradona, John Hartson, Jan Molby and... Geraint Williams - Planet Football's chubby dream team!

Josh Warwick — Wed, 13 Jul 2011 18:09:11 GMT

A FRIEND sent me a photograph of Ronaldo the other day – not the super svelte and slightly camp Portuguese superstar but the aging, buck-toothed former world player of the year.

And it turns out he is really fat these days. Really fat.

Now, he was always a little on the chunky side, even when he was at his imperious best for Barcelona in La Liga – where he ripped through defenders with the same ferocity he now rips through spare ribs.

But dear god, what happened, Ronny?

His magnificently overhanging belly got me thinking about some of football’s other prize porkers.

So, in tribute to the bulky Brazilian, here is my titan-tummied top ten:

In at number 10 is John Barnes: Forget the Anfield Rap – it was the KFC wrap which did for Barnesy. Last looked at a salad at some point in early 1987.

Number 9 on the list of the beautiful game’s metabolically challenged is Neville Southall: Big Nev faced a weekly struggle to squeeze into his XXXXXXXXXL ‘keeper’s shirt. The former Everton, Bradford and Wales stopper was one of those professionals who could have made his name in a sport other than football – but sumo wrestling’s loss was soccer’s gain.

At 8 is Neil ‘Razor’ Ruddock: As tough as nails – except when it came to resisting chocolate biscuits, kebabs, chips, steak, roast dinners, Mars bars, crisps, fry-ups and lard.

Rolling in, literally, at number 7 is Diego Maradona: Some years ago, I saw a documentary about Diego, filmed when he was at his largest, which showed him being hosed down by one of his entourage because he was physically unable to wash himself. It’s an image which has never left me.

In at 6 is Thomas Brolin: When the Sweden star signed for Leeds United in the mid-90s big things were expected – sadly they turned out to be his gut, backside and triple chin.

At 5 is former Ipswich Town midfielder Geraint Williams: A touch harsh, you might suggest – he was, after all, only 3ft 5ins tall. But the little Welshman was about the same width, too.

No list of top footy fatties is complete without entry number 4, Paul Gascoigne: Gazza was always partial to a cholesterol-soaked kebab or seven. And I’m not sure he always opted for the calorie free lager, either.

Number 3 is John Hartson: When he turned out for Norwich City towards the end of his career, Hartson was a huge presence on the pitch – but for all the wrong reasons. So big he could occupy two postcodes at the same time.

At 2 is the legend that is Micky Quinn: How massive Mick was able to earn a living as a professional sportsman, I will never know. Fortunately for the moustache-wearing striker, his ability to find the back of the net almost matched his appetite.

And finally, a number 1, the crème-de-la-crème caramel of Planet Porky, the gut busting soccer star who always took the biscuit (and the rest of the packet)…it could only be Jan Molby: If you type his name into Google, the fifth suggested search is ‘Jan Molby Fat’. Isn’t the internet cruel? These days, the great, great Dane earns a crust on the after dinner circuit – just make sure you keep your sticky toffee pudding out of his sight.

Chopra brace means it's all aboard the bandwagon

Josh Warwick — Tue, 12 Jul 2011 21:50:00 GMT

I'M not one for jumping on bandwagons but Michael Chopra's brace in his first Ipswich Town appearance has, well, made me want to jump on a bandwagon.

And a really big one, too. Because we've been a bit starved of optimism at Portman Road in recent times. And, as Harvey Milk famously remarked: "You gotta give 'em hope."

Have we a new messiah to worship? The £1.5million handed to Cardiff City for prized asset Chopra seemed pretty tidy business at the time - and it looks like even better now.

I can't help thinking there must be more than a few Budgies wishing they'd bagged the Blues' new centre forward.

Norwich's strikeforce would surely have been bolstered had Lambert pounced.

Grant Holt, pictured, is a proven Championship goal scorer but - and mark my words inhabitants of Carrot Road - he won't come close to replicating last year's form againt the likes of Ferdinand, Luiz and Terry.

Anyway, enough of Norwich City.

There's a wave of optimism around Portman Road all of a sudden - a bit of retail therapy has given the club a much-needed lift after a season of abject disappointment.

New signings - with the promise of more to come - combined with a comfortable victory in Town's opening friendly and all seems right with the world.

I'll try not to get too carried away just yet. But at least we can approach the 2011/12 campaign with eager anticipation - and not the feeling of dread I harboured as Roy Keane's frightened squad limped into last season's chaos.

The proof of the pudding - or pie (and they're officially the best at Portman Road, by the way) - will come in May.

Let's hope we're riding on the same bandwagon of optimism into the Premiership - and passing Norwich City as they head the other way.

Lee Bowyer has been punished for his wrong-doing - but he's not right for Ipswich Town

Josh Warwick — Fri, 08 Jul 2011 08:09:00 GMT

I REMEMBER the furore when Sven-Göran Eriksson selected Lee Bowyer for his one and only England cap in September 2002.

"You can always change,” said the former national coach. “If you have done something stupid in your life, it doesn't mean that you will necessarily do stupid things all your life."

Seems like a fair assessment, doesn’t it?

But nine years ago I couldn’t have disagreed with Sven more.

I didn’t want a player whose CV was peppered with incidents of infamy representing my country – no matter how good he was.

Bowyer’s past misdemeanours have been well documented – the fracas in the McDonald’s restaurant, the brawl with Kieron Dyer and his unenviable record of being the most carded player in the Premier League. (It is important to note he was cleared of any wrong-doing in relation to the incident near a Leeds nightclub in January 2000.)

Back then I couldn’t have stomached him in an Ipswich Town shirt – his snarling persona simply didn’t fit with Portman Road’s gentile, old-Etonian image.

So have things changed in the years since? I’m not sure.

He has been punished for his wrong-doing and, in recent years, has avoided the controversy which dogged his early career.

And there is no doubt his combative approach to the game would instil a titanium edge to Town’s habitually limp midfield.

So why do the nagging doubts about his arrival persist?

From the comments posted on various message boards, most fans would welcome Bowyer. However, there is a substantial minority – and that includes me – which would rather he didn’t come to Suffolk.

If he does – and it looks increasingly likely – there won’t be any demonstrations outside Portman Road (as there were outside Upton Park when Bowyer joined boyhood club West Ham for the first time).

But those who would prefer the 34-year-old to find employment elsewhere may well feel a small part of the club’s traditions have been sacrificed in the process.

Shiny legs, last minute winners and unexpected glory - why 1991/92 will always be my favourite season

Josh Warwick — Wed, 15 Jun 2011 09:54:00 GMT

EVERY fan has their favourite season, don’t they?

A campaign which left an indelible mark on the memory, a year which made them fall in love with the beautiful game all over again.

There haven’t been many contenders at Portman Road in recent times, which is why my choice is nearly two decades old.

The 1991/92 season will always be magical in my mind – a year of unexpected triumph, seen through the eyes of a naïve ten-year-old who thought watching Ipswich Town would always be this good.

John Lyall’s Division Two championship winners may have lacked the style and verve of Sir Bobby’s culture club but, tragically for me, Frans and Arnold arrived in Suffolk ten years too soon.

Instead, I made do with Gavin Johnson, Craig Forrest and Steve Whitton.

The memories of Town’s chase to the title are still fresh – Chris Kiwomya’s shiny legs (the result of bucket-loads of Deep Heat), Phil Whelan’s last-minute bullet headers and, of course, John Wark, the man who time forgot.

I’d been brought up on tales of FA Cup glory and European adventures. But by the time I was big enough to push through the Portman Road turnstiles (milk crate firmly in hand), the Butchers, Beatties and Brazils were long gone.

1991/92 was a season which started with a whimper (a disappointing draw at Bristol Rovers) but quickly improved – and culminated in Town returning to the top flight after a six-year absence.

There were too many highlights to mention them all - but I can still recall every detail of a dramatic 3-2 victory over Newcastle United, an FA Cup run which nearly saw Town topple Liverpool at Anfield (only Jan Molby's late, delicious free kick denied Ipswich), and Jason Dozzell's late goal which secured victory over rivals Blackburn.

(Please visit the site to view this video)

I travelled to my first away game towards the end of the campaign - Southend’s crumbling Roots Hall - and I still own the very shirt Neil Thompson wore when he curled in a late winner in a 2-1 victory. Party Politics won the Grand National on the same warm April afternoon and, by that stage, the Blues were certainties for the title.

The dream of promotion to the inaugural Premier League was confirmed three weeks later following a 1-1 draw at Oxford United. I wasn’t at the Manor Ground that day but I was there at a jubilant, sun-soaked Portman Road on the final afternoon of the season as the players lapped up the congratulations of the home faithful before and after beating relegated Brighton 3-1.

Of course, the team would be back in the second tier three years later following a miserable relegation which featured the infamous Old Trafford massacre.

But the fact that promotion was won in vain makes no difference to me. It was a season which turned a hobby into an obsession - and the one I will never forget.